The other day I was brushing my little girl’s hair, as I do most days, and she was yelling and pulling away and going on and on about how bad it hurt, as she does most days. I kept trying to explain to her that the more she pulled away and fussed the more it would hurt, but she kept on pulling and fussing. We were in a hurry, so I bribed her with a game on my phone while I finished up. I went on brushing, and tugging, and pulling and she didn’t make another peep. It suddenly didn’t hurt! Even though I was brushing it just as hard if not harder as before.
When she switched focus to the game instead of the pain, the brushing miraculously didn’t bother her anymore. It’s not the brushing had changed, but simply, her focus had shifted, which then released the pain she was feeling.
Did you know that what we focus on we create more of?
I can relate to my little girl. I find myself doing this in my own life with some variations.
I focus on all the pain my husband is causing me by not coming home on time.
I focus on the pain of my teenager’s words and lack of affection.
I focus on the pain of my dirty house.
I focus on that painful conversation, completely embarrassed, “did I really just say that?”
When I do this, I’m only intensifying the problem, making it bigger, making it more prominent in my life.
What pain are you intensifying in your life because you are so heavily focused on it?
The pain I’m focusing on might not be the pain of getting my hair brushed, but it certainly is getting the same effect as that. IT HURTS when focused on it!
How often do you, and I continue to focus on the pain, focus on the hard, focus on all the things we are not doing? I daresay most of the gosh, dang, time.
How to make the shift.
Focus on what you do want instead of what you don’t want.
Focus on what you are instead of what you are not.
Focus on what you do have instead of what you don’t have.
It seems so simple, but it is MAGIC. This is how you create the life you want instead of spinning in the cycle of creating a life you dread.
Shift your focus and watch as the pain magically disappears, just like with my little girl happily playing her game, barely noticing that I continue to brush.
“When we focus on the good, the good gets better” -Abraham Hicks